Mess Halls in Afghanistan Ratings

I would nominate the main DFAC at Sharana as gotta be a contender for the worst run DFAC in any theatre.

Lots of folks standing around, but none of them are capable of actually doing anything.

Afghanis wiping the tables. I can’t fault them – they have no education, no work ethic, and they look silly with their hairnets under their beards. But has anyone trained them as to what the purpose of cleaning the table it, and how to do it right? I would guess either they have not been trained, or the trainers haven’t a clue either.

It was only after I suggested that the get some kind of spray bottles to moisten the brown hand towels they were spread grease with that they implemented bottles with something in them.

Now I have dared to ask (had to have three different managers, all American, come to me to find out what my problem was) why the tables are still greasy. “Well, they have a disinfectant spray.” Doh!

How about some grease-cutting formulation there, dip-shift? What do you get from these bottom-dollar idiots? Excuses. Get this one. “We are not allowed to use a detergent or grease cutter on the tables as that would be unsanitary.”

Where KBR had a portion of Americans cooking and serving, we then moved to Balkan employees (usually fantastic, though their smoking habits cut into work productivity in some cases) and the prime contractor presumably made more money, right? Now, we have S. Asians for even less, and half the work force is Afghanis at $7/day. (Do Afghani workers get health checks? I don’t know, but when Fluor could not figure out how to get someone to turn on air conditioners in Bagram early this Spring when it was above 85 degrees in the DFAC and I watched the sweat dripping off the head of the guy serving my ice cream into my bowl, I threw it away.)

So, with all the cost cutting on workers (and don’t even tell me that whoever is mixing and putting food together back there knows the first thing about cooking!) the food should improve right?

Surely ye jest. We are getting the same tired meals, the same Grade F steaks (fit only for institutional use, says the boxes, meaning penitentiary food), and the same excuses why they can’t use real butter for anything.

We get smaller, less meaty yard bird, but called something fancy like “Cornish Hen.” We get chicken and beef “riblets” which are worth nothing as far as eating, but are just a palette for slopping sauces on for you to suck off. Enjoy the sauce, boys.

In Iraq at least you got, very, very often, mixed veggies – corn, peas, carrots and green beans. Works well, with onion added, in lots of things like their (ha) version of pot pie, stir fry, or plain. Be nice with butter. Go Fish! I have not yet seen the old tired and true useful and semi-nourishing mixed veggies here. Too expensive?

Probably. What we see the most of is that yecchy mix of carrots and cauliflower, oh, and those stupid little things that look like ears of corn.

Too much salt? Well, they sure changed that! They put salt in nothing now, so besides being over-cooked, and then sitting on warming tables so long they soak up more water, it is worse than British food. Mushy peas? We get mushy everything.

Spaghetti sauce? Ok, I gave it a try again today after a year of giving it a pass. I don’t think it was the brown sauce they sometimes use and call it spaghetti, and I think it had tomato in it. But, no salt. No pepper. No basil, garlic, or oregano. Nope, straight sauce. Yuck.

Marinara sauce for the occasional chicken breast, veal or overcooked pasta? Whaddya mean it should have seasoning in it?
Straight tomato puree, if you ask me. Nope, not even sufficient salt.

The bread is frozen, thawed, frozen, thawed, repeat enough times so that when you pick it up, if it is not dried hard from being there so long (hate to have all those people standing around doing nothing – especially the blonde with makeup halfway from her eyes to her ears who never does anything – refill things every little while when it is easier to put it out to harden for 2.5 hours) it crumbles en route to your tray.

Oh, guess there is both a labor and water shortage, right? We have no trays, as in the plastic, Melmac or whatever that you put your recycled cardboard blotter on, and can also put a drink, an apple, a salad bowl, your salad dressing or condiment packets on as you make your way to find a seat.

So, the grease goes through the try onto the tables. The plates require both hands. And then you set it down, and go back for whatever you could not carry or stuff in your pockets.

The semi-tepid food off the insufficiently monitored steam tables is cool, if it was hot. The hush puppies I got tonite were cold, so they must have been cool while on the steam table, huh?

Nice cost cutting measure though, fail to provide trays so people won’t get the value for what the company raked in when their ID card was scanned.

If that’s allowed. Sharana DFAC has a paranoia that everyone is stealing, and of course with the Army, that automatically means contractors. So we have to scan our LOA every time, slowing down the line coming in while we drag it out and unfold it….

This DFAC cannot figure out how to have ketchup on hand when they serve fries, burgers or dogs. Too complicated, too much of a challenge.

This DFAC cannot put out cherry and apple pies at the same time. We have had nothing but cherry for a week. Then, we will get apple for 3-4 days. Both at the same time, in some attempt to appeal to the masses? Are you kidding?

This DFAC cannot figure out how to put the slotted spoon in with the canned slice peaches (remember, cardboard trays – not good to have a lot of fluid sloshing around) and the solid spoon in with that which would be appropriate.

I had fancy thinly sliced potatoes the other night dished up. I was disappointed by the time I got to sit down that the oil they were supposedly fried or baked in had only slid off into the well of the plate in volume such that they were not completely immersed. Almost.

You are right about fried foods. When the rare occasions we get shrimp (a mainstay in Iraq – same dollar value per meal, right, but we only get decent stuff on occasion?) is is over-fried so by the time one has sat down to enjoy the now tepid item, it is as hard as a hockey puck.

Chicken tenders? Same.

Fried chicken – same.

Rotisserie chicken? Count on it every Sunday. No different than the baked chicken during the week. Both are so dry I have actually had to extract it from my throat when even water could not dislodge it. That is standard – the moist chicken here is THE exception.

Go to FOB Orgun and you will get piping hot food. The place has tables stacked with cans of Cup of Fruit, 2-3 varieties. Famous Amos cookies. Otis Spunkmeyer muffins. Single servings of applesauce. Sharana? Ha. Don’t make me laugh. Never seen anything but the muffins.

Orgun-E serves up all 6 flavors (never has chanced, not since 2006) of ice cream. Sharana. When they have it, they might have 3. Usually only one or two. And only in limited quantities. They don’t plan to have enough on hand for the late eaters. If you want it here, come early. They can’t plan.

Like a root beer float? Sure, with Cookies and Cream ice cream? That is it. Like I said, masters of planning.

How about peach cobbler or warmed cherry pie a la mode? Mmmm, once again, with Cookies and Cream. Should we even guess at FLUOR’s manager’s IQ? Or would that be a hate crime?

Wanna leave a comment? Hmmm, they have comment cards sometimes. Not often. Yeah, I am the guy who makes sure to thank you for another disgusting meal via napkin. From the results, I would bet only 1 out of 3 Fluor managers can read.

Yep, getting back to traditions here in Sharana. The only thing palatable 3 out of the last 5 nights was PB&J. I would have had it a 4th night, but the bread was rock hard. Tonite I ate half of it with a spoon. Remember the crumbliness factor I mentioned?

After reading on Ms Sparky’s website, and after having DECA commissary managers explain “the system” to me for years as to why 80-90% of their Kraft food products were out-of-date the day they came off the truck (fact!) or explaining to kids that the cereal box offer expired the year previous, I have no doubt that what the DFACs here serve and call cheese is fake, or so far beyond out-of-date…..

Anyone ever found out how much hamburger there really is in a DFAC hamburger? I am kind of scared to know, but have been trying to find out.

And why do they soak them in water before cooking them? So they will look bigger? Neat trick. Makes em taste like you know what too.

So, these are some of the reasons I vote for Sharana Main as the worst DFAC ever. My credentials? Over 64 months deployed, life on 10 FOBs, plus passing through places like Orgun, Victory/Liberty/Speicher.

No, the heat-n-serve principles have not changed, and the Army is right up there at fault with their staid, cheap, poor quality choices, and their stupid rule about butter. (It only comes, so they say, served on little cardboard squares, and with all the people that reach for them, well, that is just unsanitary. Funny, I have seen butter in lots of places in foil wrap…. The Army is just stupid, passing corn oil off and thinking it is healthier?)

But we got decorations. I don’t know what they are, but we have Thanksgiving decorations in the DFAC 8 days before Thanksgiving. Means fewer tables to sit at, and of course, good way to cut costs and put more money in Corp pockets as there was not a single dessert item out tonite. Nope, all of that furniture was removed to make room for the deocrations. I think one of them was a giraffe.

When Fluor does not put out food at all stations, do we or the gov’t get a rebate on the value the company gets per plate? Ha ha. Dreaming. No, they get away with it, and oh, so much more.

Sharana has great weather. Quiet. Nanny state CSMs with nothing better to do than enforce the poor soldiers wearing reflector belts during the day. Right, day time. But those clowns and goats change from time-to-time. The safety nazi is part of the problem, but he has no brains either. But that’s another story.

Welcome to Sharana. Easy to lose weight here, if you didn’t have to eat Pop Tarts or something just to fuel up.

Your comments on Terezayi are completely off base. Not even a mention of the inundation of FLIES that prohibit a person from “enjoying” the terrible meals they serve up. Orgun E and Van Allst are two of my personal favorites along with the NATO chow hall on KAIA being very nice as well.

I just love how today’s soldier complains constantly about the food. I have to state the simple facts; I am sure, those whom served in Vietnam did not have steak and lobster every friday. I am sure as well, those soldiers did not have baskin robbins ice cream everyday at lunch. So to today’s soldier, try chewing on lizzards, snails, then you can let me know just really how bad the food is.

@Ryan: I too have had to listen to ungrateful soldiers complain since we set boots on ground over here(afghanistan) as if they’re going out daily, weekly kicking doors searching for taliban. Most of these soldiers over here other than COOKS don’t really have a mission but to sleep all day, play video games, skype oh yeah and sleep some more while complaining with 1 mission a month!!! I can tell you this that they (INFANTRY UNIT @ FT. STEWART) treat their cooks horrible and wonder why they get the standard of food service and not beyond the call duty!